renewing my mind

Stepping boldly into your Destiny

It’s customary to ask God for a birthday present on my birthday. It’s also customary for God to give one to me. 

This year, I forgot to ask God for a birthday present. But he decided to give me one anyway.

Lana asked me a question while we were driving on the road: “What do you want to see this in this next year of your life?” The response I gave her was something that had lingered in my heart for the past few months. It was birthed at the retreat I had spoken at in January, had culminated in my heart the last few months, and finally materialized in that moment: I want to step boldly into my destiny. No more fear and no more running. No more aimless wandering, but boldly stepping into what may look hazy and fuzzy. I want the faith of the son who jumps boldly into the dark abyss, knowing that though he may not be able to see where he’s jumping, his father sees him, and knows exactly where the son is headed. 

I want to step boldly into my destiny. 

The Thursday before my birthday, Pastor Sunhee asked us to ask God for a new name. God had given me a spiritual name before, but she had instructed us to ask for a new name. So as I sat in the back in the sound booth, I quietly asked the Lord what my new name was. He spoke, quietly, yet resoundingly: Mighty. 

This came as a shock to me, as I had struggled with fear, anxiety, and insecurity all my life. I’ve had an inferiority complex for most of my life, constantly comparing myself to the gifted people around me. Although I heard quite clearly, I asked the Lord one more time. Again, Mighty.

I sat, a bit puzzled, slightly unsure, but an excitement began to grow in me. The last couple months had felt uncomfortable. I felt passionless, an emptiness, a void in my life. I had grown accustom to my work at church, and the rhythm and patterns of my schedule seemed locked in. It wasn’t like I had backslid, but there was frustrating uneasiness in my heart. I needed more. I was missing something. I was afraid to speak and share with my fellow staff members. I even remember having a preaching practicum session and falling flat on my face. The whole past two months felt so strange. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Until the day the Lord spoke, “Mighty”

I used to think that backsliding must be so easy and so fun. You get to finally do all that you ever wanted to do. But looking back on the past two months, it wasn’t even that I had backslid, but I had relinquished my Kingdom place. I had abandoned the post that the Lord had given me. It didn’t even look bad..I did all that was asked of me, but I was ruled by fear and anxiety. I realized that when a child of God lives their life from a framework of anything other than the authority and power the Lord gives them, they can never feel truly comfortable or satisfied. Until they step into their position in the Kingdom robed in their full authority and power, they can never fully be themselves. 

When the Lord spoke to me “mighty”, it was like I was awakened to the superior reality of who I was. The enemy had spoken to me “fearful” and I had walked in that identity. He had spoken “powerless” and I had boldly walked in that identity. But the Lord spoke “mighty” and I was awakened to who I truly was. Isn’t funny that the enemy will always speak the opposite of who you are?

After that conversation with Lana, I took a trip up to Davis, to the place where the Lord called me..to the place where I really began to walk with the Lord, the place where I first began to truly seek His face. I remember the moment I walked into the sanctuary of the church that I had belonged to. It was crazy how powerful the spirit came on me in that place. The familiarity returned, as if I had never left, and a confidence and expectation filled my heart. This was the place where I had met with the Lord countless times in the past. Where I wept. Where I rejoiced. Where I learned to pray. Where I encountered the Spirit. Where the Lord broke through to me. Where he poured out revelation. Where I began my ministry. 

I remember as I prayed for one of the brothers there, I felt the anointing of the Lord come..and I felt it. This was what I was made to do. This was the position that the Lord had called me. To boldly expand his Kingdom. To release it with authority and power. This was who I was. It felt so..for a lack of a better word..right. Nothing had changed on that day in comparison to any other day for the last 2 months, except for the fact that I truly believed in that moment that I was mighty. I believed that my words had power to cast down strongholds and to establish the truth. This was the power of walking in my destiny.

And this is going to be everyday, for next year of my life, with ever increasing greatness. I truly believe that for my birthday, God blessed me with a reminder of who I am. I am his son. I am an heir to the Kingdom of Heaven, and a co-heir with Christ. I am more than a conqueror. I am a source of life to those around me. I am Mighty. Are you walking in fullness he has spoken over you? What is your name?

Average Joe

“In that moment, Joe knew that his life would never be the same.  There was no going back to the life he had once lived. He knew that when he looked back on this moment, this moment would be the beginning, or the end of it all.”

-The Adventures of Average Joe, Chapter 1

worry not

mickeycho:

isn’t it funny how the things that we pray for the most are the things God specifically tells us not to worry about… (provision, the enemy, tomorrow, mm.. anything..).  what if we obeyed God’s command not to worry and spent our time praying for our neighbors, for our churches, for our generation?

In His Presence

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m missing something..like there’s something absent in my life. It’s not that I’m not in a relationship with Jesus, but there’s still an emptiness that I feel.”

In my journey with Christ, I’m realizing more and more that it’s not a single moment experience, but really a journey. It’s about cultivating a relationship, just like any other relationship. There are the high moments, there are the low moments. There’s the honeymoon, lovely dovey, want to spend all my time with you moments. Then there are difficult, why do I feel so distant moments. 

I think the thing I’m learning the most in this season is that relationship is all about presence. I can have a relationship with someone, but without their presence, the relationship is quickly strained. There’s something about being in someone’s presence that establishes security and safety. When I was a kid, I used to be so afraid of the dark. I would literally have to hide behind a wall, reach my hand around the corner, feeling for the light switch before I could come around and walk down the hallway. But when my dad was with me, when I was standing in his presence, fear immediately left me. I could walk down 10 hallways in the dark if I was with my dad. I could hear my dad tell me that he loved me over the phone, but when he came home from work, I would run downstairs to give him a big hug. That hug would tell me of his love for me, that he was here now and that I didn’t have to worry about anything. I was safe. I would be taken care of. Him being home just changed the atmosphere. 

A lot of Christians struggle because even after they’ve received Christ, there’s still this empty feeling inside. It doesn’t start that way at first. But slowly, the enemy whispers lies, and soon, we’re trying to fix things that aren’t broken. We try to solve our problems on our own. We’re no longer looking up at our dad to let him take care of it, but we feel that we can do it. We can leave his presence and go out on our own. 

I believe in the power of the Word of God. It’s the truth, the way, the light. But I know that apart from his PRESENCE, they’re merely words. Our soul, our spirit longs to be in the presence of our father. When we try to fill that presence with anything other than him, it leads to feelings of anxiety, worry, guilt, emptiness, loneliness. We need to learn how to REMAIN in his presence. Because here’s the thing, we always begin in his presence. We were born in his presence. Our dad actually never removes us from his presence. The only way we can leave the presence of God is when we decide to leave it behind. God’s desire for us is always to remain with him. 

You have made known to me the path of life, in your presence there’s a fullness of joy, at your right hand are pleasure forevermore. psalm 16:11

We know the path of life, it’s already been made known to us. If we aren’t walking in a place where we are full of life, we’ve chosen a different path. In his presence there is a FULLNESS, an abundance, an overflow, of joy. If we aren’t experiencing joy, perhaps we have left his presence. His right hand is filled with pleasures. God offers all the things in his right hand to us. Eternally. 

There’s a shifting that needs to happen in the mind of the believer who believes that God is not present. God is always present. God’s main medium of ministry is through his presence. Not his words, not songs, but through his presence. The truth is, that you can’t even leave his presence, because if you’re born again, his Spirit lives within you. There are things in your life that causes you to become numb to his presence.

Awaken my son! Awaken! Rise up and take your place. Awaken son of God. Awaken! Shake the heaviness of slumber, arise! The Lord your God is with you. The Lord your God is for you. The Lord your God goes with you. You will not be moved. You will remain in His presence.

Love

And yet I will show you the most excellent way… Now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Death Has Been Defeated.

I had this revelation the other day.

And even though it’s been a whole day, every single time I think about it, it still blows my mind.

Death has been DEFEATED. CONQUERED. BEATEN. OVERCOME. 

Growing up, I used to play hecka video games. I mean, like, HECKA. You know, all the good stuff: Super Mario, Super Mario 3 (super mario 2 was whateves), Sonic, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles In Time (!), Punch Out, Zelda, 007, Mario Kart, CS, Starcraft, etc, etc

You get the picture. 

Every game had a boss. That BAMF. Big Angry Mean Fiend. The one you had such a hard time beating. The one that made your palms sweaty. The one that gave you butterflies in the tummy. The one that made you excited, nervous, and scared all that the same time. And you know, that one always was a tough son-of-a-gun. Always.

But here’s the thing: He’s really really tough, and it usually, if the game’s good, it’ll take a million tries and a bunch of “AHHH”, “UGGHHH”, “AKJHGSLJDG”, *throws-controller*, raging. But once you beat him, he’s not that Big Angry Mean Fiend no more. You know what I mean? He loses some of that luster, so of that badness, so of that toughness. You don’t get so nervous anymore when you go up against him. Soon, you know all his tricks. You know every move. It becomes rare that you even break a sweat.

He ain’t no Big Angry Mean Fiend no more. Just a chump. And you eat him up. Every time.

Isn’t it funny that the fact that death was conquered is one of the most basic and fundamental truths in the Christian faith? I mean funny like, we all know it. We’ve heard it a bajillion times. We’re too familiar with it. Familiarity breds contempt. Meaning, when we’re too familiar with something/someone, we begin to have contempt towards it/them. We dont cherish the value of it’s worth. When we really see the fact that Jesus conquered death for what it really is, it should set us free. There are too many Christians who are afraid. Death’s greatest weapon is fear. His greatest avenue of warfare is fear. Death is the most scary because who knows what happens when you die? What happens to your consciousness? Does it hurt? What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? What causes you to fear what you fear? Because of the unknown? Because it can lead you to a place you don’t want to be? Why? Why? Why?

Why are you afraid?

Death was defeated, meaning, all that remains is life. Sonship. Prosperity. Fullness.

Life.

When I beat Bowser, he became a chump. When I beat Mike Tyson, he became a chump. Krane - chump. Ganondwarf - chump.

Death, chump. Fear? None. Jesus? Lord.

______________________

Feelings

I felt like I had to redeem myself.

Feelings are so overrated. So many times, we want to do things because we “feel” a certain way. I guess being an “F” (geez -_-), I feel tempted to acting according to my emotions or my feelings. But feelings are so DUMB! It’s so wishy washy. Feelings are so double minded. I can go to sleep feeling hecka emo, and then wake up hecka happy, then go to church and feel hecka tired, and then as soon as prayer starts, I feel hecka pumped.. dude, feelings, you are hecka double-minded! I mean, even science can prove that emotions aren’t legit. The simple act of smiling can cause you to be happier to a certain degree. So basically, acting a certain way is directly correlated to feeling a certain way? No way! Yes, it’s true, but most of the time, we want to believe it to be the other way around. We want to act a certain way, because we feel a certain way. How silly of us. How silly of me.

Honestly, I had a bunch more, but tumblr decided to delete my blog post as I posted so.. i guess maybe ill update this at another time. 

I declare that this week is going to be amazing. I’m going to live in that truth.

Couldn’t sleep

Couldn’t sleep. Just one of those sleepless nights.

Sometimes, I feel like one of those firecrackers you buy on the fourth of July. You know, those ones that look hecka crazy. The ones that look like its going be produce the greatest flash, like, you know, in lord of the rings. The one that shoots out the DRAGON. The one that brings the greatest expectation - only to be the greatest letdown. The one that seemed the most flashy on the onset, only fail in the delivery. 

Just a fizzle.

Sometimes, I feel like one of those firecrackers you buy on the fourth of July. Actually, the one you don’t buy. The one that looks really plain, and really lame. Actually, the one that no one buys. The one that looks like it’s going to be one of those boring sparklies - when in actuality, contained in this fireWORK is most spectacular one of them all. But no one will see. No one will know what is contained within this plain looking one.

Might as well be a plain dud.

Much rather be a spectacular dud.

So, Daniel, it seems that you’re a bit confused. Which firecracker are you really? 

C’mon silly, I’m not a firecracker, I’m a human being.

Possessing your victory

“I was afraid Your love set me free 
I was in debt You paid the price for me 
I was hurt you took away my pain 
I was alone until You called my name 
I was broken and You mended me 
Before I was You loved me 
You healed my body and You made me whole 
No matter what I do You don’t let go”

I was on the road today, when the whispers of the enemy began to creep into my ear. He began to show me all the sinful things I had divulged myself in in the past, and I began to feel an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt come over me. Not only shame and guilt, but a fear that I’d make these same mistakes again - that these passions and the longing for the world was still contained inside of me. 

Honestly, for a moment I felt dispair wash over me. I literally felt so hopeless, like I was trapped at the bottom of a pit, and all the victories I had experienced was just an illusion of escape. I felt like such a failure, so worthless, and so low. 

This was all happening in the span of like 15 mins. I actually had the music blasting as I was driving. But when the whispers began to come, it blocked out everything. For those 15 mins, all I heard were lies, and all I felt was shame, guilt, and hopelessness. But suddenly, the music began to cut through..and I began to hear the music. Those lyrics were being sung and as I heard those words, I began to remember what He had done for me. The Lord began to remind me of how he redeemed me, of how, for every sin, he restored me. In his death on the cross, he had taken all of my sins, every single one, every single deed. In his resurrection, he claimed victory over death, and over all my sins, which lead to death. Not only does He have the victory, but He reminded me that in Him I also have the victory. All my sins had been conquered. I actually had no reason to feel ashamed, to feel fearful. I already had the victory in my hand because Jesus had already won that victory for me. 

I just began to thank him for redeeming me of every single sin, for every ounce of darkness that had been in me. I began to declare victory, and as I began to declare victory, I felt a confidence rise up in me. I began to declare it with more and more authority, and soon there was a release in the spirit, and an overwhelming joy washed over me. I couldn’t STOP praising him and worshiping him. I was just reminded again of how good He was, and just how EASY it actually is. He had already done it, I simply had to possess it.

Don’t we do that so often? We focus so much more on the sins we commit, than the deliverance that the Lord brings. We have so much more faith in our fallen nature, than the resurrecting power of God. The fact of the matter is that the same power that conquered the grave lives in us. When Christ died on the cross and rose again, he gave us access to the victory for every struggle, for every aspect of our fallen nature. It’s done, paid for, finished. We simply need to possess it, declare it, and walk in it.

“When I go to bed, You are near 
When I wake up, You are there 
When I say Your name, You are here 
When I walk in faith, You’re everywhere 
You catch and save every tear I cry 
You journal everyday all about my life 
Your love for me reaches to the sky 
I am Yours, You are mine”
- Forever and a Day, Bethel live